The Highest Headlines in June

Some news stories seem to have been created in a lab for stoners. This month, the beakers are bubbling over with strange phenomena, odd facts, and cerebral think pieces that scratch your brain in all the right places. Load up the bong, put your reading glasses on, and become a part of this crazy human experiment called life. 

Linguists have identified a new English dialect that’s emerging in South Florida

So, apparently, language often mutates when either borrowing words directly (called loan words) or through a sort of misheard-lyric-style called calques. The example they use here is the French word for dandelion; called “Löwenzahn” in German, meaning “lion’s tooth”, then translated as “dent de lion” by the French, and voila, it becomes the English word “dandelion.” What’s happening in Miami is a little different. Instead of the straightforward Spanglish we’re familiar with, Spanish phrases are getting direct translations without Anglicization. If you’ve ever met someone whose second language is English laugh at the phrase “take a shower”, you know what we mean. These “literal lexical calques” are becoming “throw a photo” (instead of “take”) from tirar una foto or “get down from the car” (instead of “get out of”) from bajar del carro. It’s exciting to hear language evolving right in front of us!

Millennial and Gen Z economic malaise is creating a ‘treat culture’ as they turn to tiny purchases for a dose of daily escapism

Remember when an Australian millionaire said the reason Millennials couldn’t buy houses was because of avocado toast? Turns out, that’s not the reason why and, even if it were, you can’t take away the one thing keeping us sane: little treats. Treat Culture is the only escape from this capitalist hellscape we call America, so if you need an iced coffee, a pack of pre rolls, a thrift store knick-knack, we say, treat yo’ self. 

Also, if you really want to go down a Treat Culture vortex, check out The Lipstick Index, the theory that in hard economic times, small purchases like lipstick spike and high-price purchases decline.

The seal pup taking surfers’ boards for a spin

In cuter news, a baby seal (though deemed old enough to be out on its own) has been flopping onto surfboards and hanging ten in San Diego. After checking in with marine life experts to make sure the seal wasn’t signaling for help, they learned he was totally healthy, just uniquely curious. Surfers were advised not to touch or interact with the seal, but that didn’t stop the little guy from jumping on board. 

‘Watermelon snow’ piques curiosities in Utah after abnormally wet winter

We’ve been warned about yellow snow, but pink snow is a new one. Now that we’re finally coming out of this long, cold, and rainy winter (and probably entering a very hot summer), it’s strange to imagine a snow headline coming out of June, but here it is–excess water plus sunlight and cold temperatures have given rise to a green algae called chlamydomonas nivalis that turn red to protect itself from sunlight. Other fun fact, a lot of skincare products use red algae for its UV-protective qualities–but don’t ingest watermelon snow, as delicious as it may sound!

Get your watermelon fix by eating this instead:

Try Kiva Camino Sour Watermelon Spritz